Saturday, August 29, 2015

Week 5: Agency ~ August 26, 2015


Another lovely week here at the CCM. As you can see our preparation day has changed again. Not that it particularly matters as this will be my last one here. I will be leaving the CCM at 2:30 amon Monday morning to head for Aguascalientes.

The big news around here is that Elder Christoffersen is coming today.  Everyone is excited to get to hear a live talk by an apostle instead of just a recording of them speaking at the Provo MTC.  

The biggest thing for me this week was that I spoke in church on Sunday.  Every week we have to have a five minute talk prepared and then when we get to sacrament they choose who will be speaking and just announce it from the pulpit.  I don't know why but I was pretty sure I wouldn't be speaking this week so I only had a couple of quotes and a scripture or two written down.  When the announced my name to speak I honestly think I blacked out for a second due to sheer panic.  But I got through at least five minutes and everyone gave me a lot of compliments so either they are very nice or it wasn't so bad.  

The next day we were talking about agency in small groups and the teacher came to sit with myself and another elder while we were talking and I said something and the teacher just smiled at me. I thought I had said something super wrong until he looked at the other elder with us and said something about how much potential I had.  The other elder (who is generally kind of a grump) got so excited and started telling him about how awesome my talk was and how I can secretly speak really good spanish.  None of which is really true as far as I see it, but it makes me feel better.

I feel like I have been blessed with a lot of little experiences this week to remind me how I want to be a missionary and to really get me excited about the work.  I worry that's because in a bout 5 days it'll be all I can do not to pack my stuff up and go home, but I'm trying not to stress too badly over it.  I know the Lord will take good care of me.  
We had to pack up our stuff today so we could weigh our suitcases.  They have to be under 50 lbs and our carry-on can't be more than 22lbs. Both of my suitcases were under but my carry-on weighed 32 (that's where I put all my books) so I'll have to figure out some way to make it work.  It was so weird to be packing again.  Some days it feels like I've been here 12 years and other times it feels like we just got here yesterday.  

During our class discussion about agency our teacher asked us "How has agency helped you get to where you are now?" I thought about that a lot and I thought about what I would be doing if I just did what other people told me to do all the time. I thought about it a lot, specifically in relation to my mission.  If I had just done what other people told me, I wouldn't be here.  I would probably be doing other good things, but I wouldn't be here and this is where I'm supposed to be.  I am so nervous to have to speak Spanish all of the time in just a few days and to be meeting real people who need to hear what I have to tell them when I sometimes feel like it's all I can do to form one full sentence.  But I know that the Lord knows me.  He is aware of my needs and my desires and He is going to take care of me. 

Thank you all for your support over the last 5 weeks.  I love you!
Hermana Schmidt

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